Walking in the dirt .. looking for Jesus

SUNDAY CLOTHES

A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction.
'Hello,' said the little boy
'Hi,' replied the little girl.
'Where are you going?' asked the little boy.
'I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home, '
answered the little girl.
'I'm also on my way home from church.
Which church do you go to?' asked the little boy.
'I go to the Baptist church back down the road,' replied the little girl.
'What about you? '
'I go to the Methodist church back at the top of the hill,'
replied the little boy.
They discover that they are both going the same way
so they decided that they'd walk together.
They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had partially
flooded the road, so there was no way that they could get across to the
other side without getting wet.
'If I get my new Sunday dress wet, my Mom's going to skin me alive,'
said the little girl.
'My Mom'll tan my hide, too, if I get my new Sunday suit wet,'
replied the little boy.
'I tell you what I think I'll do,' said the little girl. 'I'm gonna pull
off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade across.'
'That's a good idea,'replied the little boy.
'I'm going to do the same thing with my suit.'
So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without getting their clothes wet. They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry before putting their clothes back on, when the little boy finally remarked .

'You know, I never realized before just how much difference there really is between a BAPTIST and a METHODIST!!!

NozzelRage: attack of the pump

Some pretty nasty things about Barak...

Aired Thursday night on NBC: You know, with gas prices approaching $5 a gallon here in California, a lot of people are starting to use bicycles as transportation. In fact, coming in today, I saw Jesse Jackson backpedaling all the way.
Well, if you haven’t heard by now, on Fox News the other day, during an interview, Jesse Jackson, not realizing the mic was open, said some pretty nasty things about Barack Obama.
Jackson made the comments when he thought the mic was off. Here’s my question. Why would Jesse Jackson ever go anywhere unless the mic was on, right?
Jesse said he thought Barack Obama was talking down to black people by lecturing them on things like fatherhood and being a responsible husband. Jesse thought it was insulting, not only to him but to his former mistress and their love child

Things You Don't See Every Day

How to drive like a Floridian

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in any County during rush hour.

They Walk Among Us!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?"

Why we love children

8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

Things you don't see everyday...

Despite appearances, the people in the photo are NOT me and Debbie...although the guy's profile could easily be me... oh, and the bizarre thing about this photo is the baby in between the man in the woman ...where the red arrow is pointing.

'Imagine if you tried this with your boss'

Aired Thursday night on NBC: President Bush went to Iowa today. He wanted to show Iowans that disaster is difficult, but it can be overcome. Of course, people in Iowa were a little confused. They weren’t sure which disaster President Bush was talking about, the floods or his presidency. Which one?
And Hillary Clinton is taking a month off from her job as senator to rest up from her campaign. How does that work? Think about this. You’ve been neglecting your job, trying to get a better job, which you do not get. So, you then take a month off from the job you were trying to get out of and go on vacation. Huh?

Barack Obama and Gore

Jay Leno - Aired Friday night on NBC: Thanks for coming out on such a hot day. It was so hot, Barack Obama met with Al Gore just for the shade.

Why we love children ... #7

7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by t he various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

Things you don't see everyday....

July 4th on Biscayn Bay!

They Walk Among Us!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

How to drive like a Floridian....

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare for people entering the highway.

Why we love children...

6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'