Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Weak Dollar

According to Jay Leno, the American dollar has gotten so weak, that yesterday God asked that we remove the part that says "In God We Trust"

The Bush Economic Plan

When you screw up, you pay ... when they screw up .... YOU pay!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Raining cats and dogs ... well... at least cats....

a true story about a pastor of a church. He had a kitten that climbed ?up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The ?pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and pulled it until the ?tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten.

That's what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car.
He then figured if he went just a little bit ?further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the ?kitten. But as he moved the car a little further forward, the rope ?broke. The tree went 'boing!' and the
kitten instantly sailed through the air - out of sight.

The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little ?kitten. No.
Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, "Lord, I just commit this
kitten to your keeping," and went on about his business.

A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. ?This woman was a ?cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, "Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?"
She replied, "You won't believe this," and then told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing.

Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, "Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it."
She told the pastor, "I watched my child go ?out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flyin out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of ?her."

Lesson learned: Never underestimate the Power of God and
His unique sense of humor.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Coolidge and the fine arts

One evening a nervous soprano stuggled hopelessly before President Calvin Coolidge at a White House recital.

"What did you think of the singer's execution?" one of the guests asked Coolidge.

"I'm all for it," the chief executive replied.

Summer classes for men

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Summer Classes for Men

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Why we love children

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy 's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!

R U Ready to Make the Commitment?

R U Ready to Make the Commitment?