Santa gets a gift!

Santa with an armful of LUV!!!!!!

keeping up with technology

red neck palm pilot

Biblical hermaneutics

hmmmmm.....

oops!!

How could you with that big, fat packyderm?!

weeweechu ?

It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."

Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.

Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....

"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

We are in trouble...

The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 15 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden. Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city
Governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals. Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are, Sitting on your ass,

At your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.

Gender metaphors

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

A Sign of the times

Despite the global economic melt-down, business is up at Wally World... you gotta love it!

warming up

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.

"A crap sandwhich with cheese"

Aired Monday night on NBC: Today, the House of Representatives voted against the Wall Street bailout plan, a plan which House Minority Leader John Boehner called a “crap sandwich.” Congress is already working on a new plan, which they call a “crap sandwich with cheese.”

Now, today, when the stock market closed, it was down 777 points, which is the biggest point drop in American history. As a result, President Bush was able to cross off the 10th and final item on his Administration’s bucket list.

Gender metaphors

TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated