Bertha and Harvey

Bertha and Harvey always went to church together. But this particular Sunday Bertha was a little "under the weather" and so she stayed home. Harvey went on alone. Bertha began to worry when Harvey had not returned from church at the expected time. Then around 4:00 PM she heard a scratching at the door. She opened it, and there stood Harvey with his right arm in a cast, his left arm in a sling, his eyes swollen shut, black and blue. His shirt was ripped almost off of his body. He had knots on his head, and bruises and contusions all over his body.
Bertha cried out, "My goodness, Harvy! What happened to you?"
Harvey said, "Do you remember last week at church when we sat behind sister Anabell, the church fat lady? Do you remember when we stood up to sing hymn no 139, do your remember how the back of her dress was stuck in the crack of her butt? Do you remember how bro Elmer reached over there and pulled it out? Do you remember how she beat the living tar out of him when he did that? Well, today I sat behind siter Anabell again, and when we stood up to sing the hymn, sure enough, her dress was stuck in the crack of her butt again, and bro Hubert reached over there and pulled it out. Well, I remember how she beat the living daylights out of bro Elmer for doing that. So I just reached over and put it back!