20 above: Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.....People in Maine throw on a sweatshirt.
zero degrees: People in Miami cease to exist....Mainers lick the flagpole.
-40 below: Hollywood disintegrates.....The girl scouts in Maine begin selling cookies door to door.
-60 below: Polar bears begin to evacuate AntarcticaMaine's Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
-100 below: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.....Maine-iacs get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-500 below: Hell freezes over......
The New England Patriots win the Super Bowl!
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