You think English is easy??
1) The bandage was wound around the
wound.
2) The farm was
used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more
refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture..
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the
desert..
7) Since there is no time like the present, he
thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass
drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to
row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are
present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer
line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his
sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a
tear..
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of
tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate
friend?
Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There
is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in
pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in
France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t
fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is
teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose,
2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends
but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but
one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I
think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the
verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a
recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet
that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique
lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which
you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going
on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and
it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race
at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. – Why doesn't ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’
