THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.

-- Camille, age 10

damn peacock!

A farmer pulls a prank on Easter Sunday. After the easter egg hunt he sneaks into the chicken coop and replaces every white egg with a brightly colored one.

Minutes later, the rooster walks in. He spots the colored eggs, then storms out and beats up the peacock.

oops!!

How could you with that big, fat packyderm?!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

AL GORE :

I invented the chicken!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

COLONEL SANDERS :

Did I miss one?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

ALBERT EINSTEIN :

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Sanders:

"I don't care, I just want to know if it has got any milk?"

Why did the chicken cross the road?

ERNEST HEMINGWAY :

To die in the rain. Alone.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DR SEUSS :

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

COLIN POWELL :

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BILL CLINTON :

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

PAT BUCHANAN :

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

JOHN KERRY :

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it

Why did the chicken cross the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH :

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

OPRAH :


Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DR. PHIL :

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.