Everybody knows that cuckoos live in clocks

Sally, a contestant on a game show, had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money. And as she suspected, the Million Dollar Question was no pushover. It was:

Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it:

A) the condor; B) the buzzard; C) the cuckoo; D) the vulture

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. She hoped she would not have to use it because her friend was, well, a blonde. But she had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices. The blonde responded unhesitatingly: 'That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo.'

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering her friend was a blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced. Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, 'C: The cuckoo.'

'Is that your final answer?'
'Yes, that is my final answer.'
'That answer is absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!'

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars. 'Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you, ' said the contestant. 'How did you happen to know the right answer?'

'Oh, come on,' said the blonde. 'Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks.'

Sally fainted.

#2 Conflict

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb- blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet.
"What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?" she demands. "What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?"
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.
"You keep out of this!" she yells. "I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!"

Submitted by Nancy Gomes

You stay out of this! I'm talkin to that little dummy...

A young ventriloquist was touring the clubs, and one night he's doing a show in a small town in New Zealand.

With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual routine of dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting...

..."I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching their full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, but the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee

Are you going to San Diego?...

(courtesy of Debbie Holbrook)
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.

The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"

"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"

"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble."

"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."

"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde," but we had money left over---so now we're going to Sea World."

a blonde's eyes...

How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle? Shine a torch into her ear...

A blind man walks into a bar...

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blond joke?"

The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blond. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blond. The bouncer is blond. The man sitting over to your left is also blond. Still wanna tell that blond joke?"

The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."