How bad is the economy?

The Economy is South Florida is starting to bottom out -- good thing also, the cats are almost ready to give up while the homeless and the dogs are praying...

Americans are losing their religion

Jay Leno on Monday night.

"You know I saw a new survey that said Americans are losing their religion. I tell ya it is bad when you not only lose your job, but you don’t even have a prayer."

Stimulus package

"Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.

"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
"A. No, they are borrowing it from China . Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.

"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
"A. Shut up."

We are in trouble...

The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 15 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden. Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city
Governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals. Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are, Sitting on your ass,

At your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.

"A crap sandwhich with cheese"

Aired Monday night on NBC: Today, the House of Representatives voted against the Wall Street bailout plan, a plan which House Minority Leader John Boehner called a “crap sandwich.” Congress is already working on a new plan, which they call a “crap sandwich with cheese.”

Now, today, when the stock market closed, it was down 777 points, which is the biggest point drop in American history. As a result, President Bush was able to cross off the 10th and final item on his Administration’s bucket list.

4 more years!

Man, things are not looking good....

Aired Friday night on NBC: Financial experts are saying we are entering a new chapter in the American economy. I believe it’s Chapter 11.
Man, things are not looking good. I opened the business section of the paper today. It said, “You Don’t Want To Know.” That was the headline.
Give you an idea how bad the American economy is — Mexico is now calling for a fence along the border.
President Bush had a press conference today outside the Oval Office to talk about the economy. He would have had it inside but, you know, the bank has foreclosed on it.
No, President Bush announced that he will be working with Congress to use hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars to restore confidence in the market, but that was his second choice to fix the problem. First choice, invade Wall Street.
Barack Obama continues to criticize John McCain ’s economic plan. McCain would like to criticize Obama’s economic plan, but nobody knows what it is yet.

Stock Investments

The Weak Dollar

According to Jay Leno, the American dollar has gotten so weak, that yesterday God asked that we remove the part that says "In God We Trust"