Jaegerbombs and Sarah Palin

Monologue | Aired Monday night on NBC: Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin resigned yesterday, and during her speech, she was heckled. Apparently, it was just someone in Russia yelling, “Keep it down over there!”

In her final speech as Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin compared herself to a grizzly bear. Her exact words were, “I have the public speaking ability of a grizzly bear.”

To ease tensions, President Obama has invited Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and the police officer who arrested him to join him for a beer at the White House. And if that works out, Obama’s going to have Ahmadinejad and Netanyahu over for Jaegerbombs.

President Obama is hosting a delegation of 150 Chinese officials in Washington. Among the questions the Chinese have for the U.S.: “What’s your military policy? What is your stance on global warming? And where’s our money?”

Critics of the federal stimulus plan say that millions of dollars are being wasted on fixing up bathrooms at our national parks. They may be right, because, this week, they turned Old Faithful into a bidet.